do i have to grow up..?!

have you ever wondered what it would be like if you could go back to your old life.when all you had to be worried about what whether homework was done..or in college when even if you hadn't done your assignment, no one was really gonna crucify you(even if it felt like it at that time)..
its such an irony that when you're in school all you wanna do is get out and go to college..when you reach college you're itching to get out and savour all that life has to offer..be independent and take your own decisions..finally you're out n excited to start the new life..
all is hunky dory for some time..when you suddenly realise maybe ur gonna be stuck doing this for the rest of ur life..even your dream job can sometimes make you wanna throw in the towel!you realise how delusional you were..how idealistic..you realise that there are bosses to be dealt with..and that however old you become you might still need to fight it out with parents for any major decisions cos after all ur still their baby..you realise that now that you're supporting yourself you are supposed to take the next step.marriage.well, u might still be a baby but that does not alter the natural course your life has to take..meanwhile you're waiting to actually 'feel' all 'grown up'..and feel that you are capable of being responsible enough to have a partner for life..!waiting for the day when suddenly things just click right into place(hopefully), announcing your arrival at the next level of maturity..well, you did arrive at the first level sometime between those board exams or those boring lectures..and you start thinking about how wonderful it would be to go back..no job..no bills..no bosses..you can throw all the tantrums you want cos after all you parents are bound to stick with you..
i have a great life.nothing much to complain about..still, there are times when i dont wanna be all grown up..and wish there was someone who could take care of me..(i do have the most wonderful support system.really.)i just wish i had taken it easy when i could.not been in a hurry to grow up and step out into the real world..
seeing kids who are no more than eight or nine years old looking like teenagers, wearing three inch heels, the shortest of skirts, styled hair, professional make-up, gives me an urge to go shake them up..tell them not to do this.let life take its own course.and enjoy being nine.and when its time to be sixteen, you will be sixteen, not twenty-four.do not bring it upon yourself earlier than when it should be..or when you're twenty-six you'll be wishing you could be nine again..and there's nothing you'll be able to do about it...

westward bound..

looks like i'm on a roll..continuing my sojourns, i had one to rajasthan, the princely state as its called..jodhpur and jaisalmer to be precise.the vacation was pleasant.the heat was unbearable.the exposure was eye opening..
been to jodhpur a couple of times, so nothing new.always wanted to travel to jaisalmer, one city i hadn't been to in rajasthan.the timing was a bit off, it technically being the end of winter still the temp soaring to 40degrees.however, the golden city was mesmerising.the camel safari made me feel like royalty on a visit to my kingdom(a very kingdom without any subjects i must say)..pardon moi.its the after effects of jodha akbar..:)..if anyone is planning a trip, its a small city and can be seen in 1.5days leisurely..but beautiful..if you like to think of a charming past..
well, it being the weekend leading to easter, went for mass.it was amusing(not the service, the situation)..99% mallus and a hindi service..well, u know the saying go to the moon and u will have a mallu with a tea stall there!
anyway, the highlight of the trip was not the destination, but the journey.from jodhpur to jaisalmer.we were travelling by second class during the day, to see the sights and have a proper experience.plus, didnt get AC tickets..well, after waiting at the station for 2hours, the train finally left. 8am, and the wind was cool..but not for long..soon it became hot..the effect of high temperature, dust, and a barren landscape is something else altogether..soon sand covered the train.
most of our co passengers were army men returning to their posts.since jaisalmer is closer to the pakistan border, passed quite a few military establishments, even pokran(thats how its spelt at the station).those army camps will forever stay in my mind.its amazing how those people guard our borders in such conditions.to say it was scorching is an understatement.the heat was permeating our very system even when the train was running.imagine being stationary in such a parched landscape..actually worse, going about their jobs, day in and day out.and i'm sure its much much worse at the higher altitudes..made me look at the army in a completely new light.and makes you ponder on your life's choices and ordeals..how you end up grumbling at the inconsequential irritations life throws us..
at least i had the option of finally reaching an air conditioned environment, to say the least.innumerable are my blessings.